Back For The Long Haul

Well, here I am.

My loyal followers have been clamoring for an update for quite a while now, but it has been worth the wait: I went to the Virgin Islands for a vacation. I had been planning to write blog entries while there, but I was dismayed to learn that currently Fiji doesn’t have access to the Internet. It is a discovery like this which emphasises the urgent need for politicians to stop wasting their time legislating nonsense like the “beavers’ bill of rights” (formulated directly to attack yours truly) and ensure that third world pseudo-paradises catch up with the rest of us on basic technology.

My house was in a bit of a shambles when I arrived back at home as well, because my lovely wife Anita has an uninformed habit of eating breakfast and bathing simultaneously. Not only does the food get wet, but sometimes she is so strapped for time that she will actually bring the toaster in with her to the bathtub, which, needless to say, results in serious explosive damage to her bathroom. In our absence, she had completely destroyed her bathtub and her toilet (no idea how). She is now required to use my bathroom, much to my annoyance. I have never seen so many plucked eyebrow hairs sitting in a sink at once.